it’s been almost a year

yes, it is almost been a year since i wrote those article of mine. and everything is changing. and it is sucks! i am no longer in my comfortable zone. it have become war!!! fighting with everything.
well the mentioned boy in previous article is no longer my boyfriend and the next boyfriend also was no longer my boyfriend. and currently, i am available.
available=single=alone=it sucks
is it big deal for me?yes, it is,, i don’t like to be alone. i don’t like to have someone to share with everyday. i hate it.
well yes, i am a woman. and i don’t supposed to do the initial movement to attract boys. yes, i am so east,,
dear WordPress, i hate my self right now. i hate histories. i hate feeling that is hurting me. i hate uncertainty. i hate being alone.

-i am 25 years old and i hate my histories-
-i hope it won’t be lasting-

somebody told me to stop (decrease) dreaming

DREAM-IS-FORBIDDEN

i cant even explain it

Keyword: Dreaming, Passion, Purpose, Point, Forbidden, Dangerous, Not-Good-for-your-Health, Wasting Time, Order Obeyness, Straight, Ordinary, Impossible, Useless, Careless, Tiring, Sleep, Get-Anything-U-Want, and be Deaf.

Married Confession

Married is a must in my family. Having childs, grow them up, and having the grandchilds is a lot of must.
Well, i really get the point, ALONE idea is HORRIBLE.

alone

I dont want to be alone either. But not such this fast, not now to get married. I dont have job YET (office hour at least), i dont have my very own car YET, i dont have my house YET, and i really want those things before i turn to be someone’s wife, for sure, my boyfriend’s wife.

When i told my BF about this “unmarried idea”, he’s calm enough, seemz that he can get my point. he seemz and sounds good. But somehow, i knew at last, he was quite shock. He is really good at hiding things. And for some reason, i dont want to make him sad(maybe becoz i love him already), i started to consider “the married idea”.

But still far far away from “having child idea”.

For now, i feel so much good doing friends hang out , socializing, faire photos, and thinking about MY next days. Doing something i like, going out with anyone i want to, shopping just for my self, traveling somewhere which i cant do it for now(i promise you, someday, i will).

SELFISH!!!!! No doubt!

But all of these thought are proves that i’m just human. Just human who more human than anyhuman in this world.

the people next door

next-door-war

live in big city or in a village for me doesnt have any difference. they both are unquite.
people who live next to my room is so damn noisy, esp, in very early morning and very early noon.
i cant take any quality nap when they start gossiping around like there’s nothing to do as shut their mouth up.
seriously, ive ever throw them a bucket of water. and it really works-just for an hour-, in the next day, they started again..
with that parameter, i can calculate, that i’ll need 24 bucket to make them silent everyday!
well, i dont want to waste worlds water just for inappropiate people like them.
so, i keep silent, listening to their gossip sometimes useful anyway

agree, hello world!

one-of-my-friend's farewel, 2009

Newbie here, so pleaseeee,,,,don’t expect too much about this blog. But, im really excited i have this blog anyway.

I’m expecting responses about my next post-will be any response?-which there’ll be so much things about my family, friends, activity, interest, lovelife, or little thingy that somebody dont really care.

Firstly,,i really love when my thought is written just like this, you know, with this type of font, seems like i really talk to you guys,, , wether i dont know if you read this crap.

I love what i love. do you get what i mean?it refers to anything that i do is almost ALWAYS something i like. soooo,,,imagine me… im the one who love my self, kinda narcissm, loves comfortability(is the word correct?), loves to be loved(who dont?), and loves something new(like branded new crocs shoes)(not always shoes, sometimes(much more times) new interest).

Well, who dont seems like me anyway, everybody does, does it?

But,,,,, i feel like an alien

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